The Irish Times Demo Nov 05. 2020

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#MINDOURSELVES Its time to talk about menopause in the workplace, says EMILY HOURICAN, who spoke to women about the impact of their symptoms on their working life HOT TOPIC, LARGELY I IGNORED magine the scenario, says Loretta Dignam: Im a 50-year-old senior corporate professional making a presentation to a senior management team and mid-pitch, I have a hot flush. Unexpected and unwelcome. The heat rises from within whoosh and Im sweating. I want to tear my jacket off, my face is gleaming with sweat and Im trying to maintain my flow, my composure, my concentration. This, she says, is a real scene from my life, something that happened on many occasions over a period of three years. My confidence took a bashing. I didnt speak up about being menopausal. Who would? The stigma, the embarrassment, the ridicule ... how could I? I felt they would perceive me as an old, past-it, crazy lady. Along with the hot flushes, Dignam recalls, lost words, memory lapses, poor concentration, insomnia, aches and pains, dry eyes, flat mood ... the list goes on. When she went looking for help, Loretta found such a lack of readily available services that she set up The Menopause Hub (www.themenopausehub.ie). At least Dignam was well aware of what was happening to her largely because her age, and the symptom of hot flushes were both classic indicators of menopause. For Sallyanne Brady, that was not the case. For her, menopause looked, initially, like an unconnected series of health issues that together added up to debilitation. In my mid-30s, I became an anxious person for no apparent reason, she says. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasnt able to think clearly, had a constant feeling of being overwhelmed, to the point where I was unable to function on some days. I couldnt make a cup of tea; I would sit down and cry. My GP prescribed anti-anxiety medication and anti-depressants. I didnt think I was depressed, but I took them anyway. Nothing worked. Then, when I was 38, night sweats arrived. I went back to the GP. He said that was also caused by the anxiety. That carried on and then a few months later came 48 November 2020 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE insomnia; at one point I hadnt slept for four days. I was almost hysterical. And still in all this time, no one said a word about hormones. I said to my GP, I think this is menopause, and he said no, youre too young. From there, Brady developed tinnitus overnight, a high-pitched sound and a buzzing in my ears. I spent a year trying to sort that seeing everyone from ENT consultants to my dentist. That was a living hell. Then I developed restless legs. At that stage I had so many things wrong with me, I didnt know which doctor to go to. I was referred to a psychiatrist, and she said, I wonder are you peri-menopausal? That was the first time I ever heard that word. I had been to A&E three or four times, Id had a CT scan, a brain MRI. At last, in late 2008, I finally found a doctor who specialised in menopause. He said youre not mad, you need hormones. He put me on HRT, and I knew immediately, this is what I needed. It took about seven months of tweaking the dose to get it right, but the improvement was consistent. Now, I dont have a single one of those symptoms. But I lost four years of my life. Throughout this period, Brady was working as a sales manager. It wasnt a big corporation, and it was a flexible job, luckily. If it had been 9-5, I couldnt have done it. I was on the road a lot, and there were days when I worked from home. Because of that, somehow I struggled on. Being flexible is what got me through. My boss was aware and he was understanding. If it hadnt been for that, I couldnt have continued. Because of her experiences, Brady set up Facebook group The Irish Menopause. I hear from women all the time who give up work because menopause hits them, she says. When you consider the years of knowledge and experience they take with them, its so wrong and wasteful. It is also, until now, largely silent. These women leave the workplace, taking all their expertise with them, and they do so almost without a word, defeated by a combination of whats happen within their bodies, and what isnt happening around them in terms of support and understanding. Women dont talk about menopause. We barely discuss it with our friends, let alone our employers. Women should be able to go to Human Resources and say this is how I feel but they worry that if they do, they will be discriminated against, explains Brady. There is already so much ageism in society; admitting youre in menopause is like hanging a sign around your neck: Im old. THE NAME OF THAT GUY WHO WAS IN THAT FILM ... The usual stereotype of menopausal women generally revolves around an image of a hot, flustered, emotional, forgetful middle-aged lady. This is painful enough when applied in ones home and personal life oh, mums forgotten her keys/wallet/why she went upstairs again but its far more damaging within a professional context. Dismissing someone as forgetful might seem funny if they have spent minutes trying to recall the name of that actor who was in that film with the other guy, you know..., but its devastating if their role depends on them being seen as sharp and in command of every detail. Same with emotional its one thing when said by a partner with whom youve just had a disproportionate row about the weekly shopping, but pernicious in the workplace where you are expected to take careful, far-sighted decisions. A survey carried out in May 2018 by the Irish Congress of Trade Unions (ICTU), found that women face real challenges in the workplace as a result of menopausal symptoms and that there was little or no support available to them. These challenges were described as: not being able to perform at usual levels due to tiredness caused by hormonal-induced insomnia to severe bleeding, pain, and discomfort, and the report made the point that If these symptoms were as a result of an illness or disease, measures would be put in place to support the worker, but because the menopause is seldom discussed and seen as just something that happens to women, the same considerations are not made. Of the nearly 2,500 respondents to the survey, 99 per cent said they didnt have or didnt know of a workplace menopause policy, and only 40 per cent said they would feel comfortable talking about the effect the menopause was having on them, and only in a confidential setting with either a line manager or a union rep. There are currently 571,000 menopausal women in Ireland and 350,000 of those are in paid employment. Thats an awful lot of women, going through an awful lot of physical, psychological and emotional symptoms, without asking for help. There is still such a dearth of information among women about menopause including when it begins and how long it lasts that, when asked for the most common symptoms, the majority will cite hot flushes and night sweats. And yes, these play a part but in fact, when asked what is the most common symptom The usual stereotype of menopausal women is painful enough when applied in ones home, but its far more damaging within a PROFESSIONAL CONTEXT. THE JOY IN SMALL THINGS / MOOD-BOOSTING COLOUR / FESTIVE PREP / PARK BENCH SOCIAL LIFE / LITTLE LUXURIES / DARK FLORALS MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2020 .ie www.thegloss with THE IRISH TIMES & DEAREST NEAREST THIS IS OUR SOCIAL BUBBLE BROWN THOMAS, GRAFTON STREET, DUBLIN 2 CONTENTS IN THIS ISSUE ALWAYS ON A THURSDAY NEXT ISSUE THE GLOSS will ALWAYS be published with The Irish Times on the first Thursday of every month. DOREEN KILFEATHER THURSDAY THE GLOSS DECEMBER MONTHLY REMINDER 3 SIGN UP to receive a monthly reminder by email when THE GLOSS is out so that yo THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY GIFTS IN THE WORLD AVAILABLE ONLINE brownthomas.com #THEMARVELROOM R E B M E NOV ~ Disguising the CORONAWAIST... the rise of RANGE ANXIETY... whats in your HOSIERY DRAWER? ... outdoor dining at home is HOTTING UP ... T here are strategies to stay positive, even if we cant access our usual options. Practising a technique called temporal distancing where you pict SHOPPING JASON LLOYD EVANS SPOT THE TREND 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Backstage at Hugo Boss AW20 show. 8 9 MOOD-BOOSTING COLOUR After a summer when the biggest colour story was white and tonal shades of beige and ecru, we are more than ready for winters best trend: colour worn head to toe. Hugo Boss, on : Photo by Michel Gibert, used as a reference only. Special thanks to: Stone Sculpture museum of the Fondation Kubach-Wilmsen. French Art de Vivre Préface. Modular sofa, designed by Studio Roche Bobois. Cascade. Cocktail and end tables, designed by Fabrice Berrux. European manufacture. UNIT D1 - MOODBOARD 1 2 BE TOLERANT WITH OTHERS, AND STRICT WITH YOURSELF. 4 MARCUS AURELIUS VERSACE 3 8 IM NOT BAD. IM JUST DRAWN THAT WAY. DIOR JESSICA RABBIT 7 T H I S M ON T H T H E MOOD I S: 5 UPSIDE-DOWN 6 SUSAN ZELOUF wonders what to wear in a topsy-turvy world A playwright friend decid Elegance is an attitude Kate Winslet Longines DolceVita SHOPPING Pearly white and black resin bracelet, 1,210; www.chanel.com Cobra-print velvet turband, 68; www.emily-jean.com. Red rose jacquard socks, Simone Rocha, 55; www.havanaboutique.ie. Bronze miniature silk roll evening bag, 399; www.aoifelifestyle.com. Sparkling silver Sylvia earrings, Mari Auction Tuesday 8th December 2020 FINE JEWELLERY & WATCHES A Rare Gem-Set Pendant/Brooch, by Fred Paris, Circa 1980 Estimate €7,000 - 9,000 ADAMS Est.1887 PRSA REGISTRATION NO. #001959 Catalogue Online Saturday 14th November On View 4th - 8th December 26 St Stephens Green, Dublin 2 Tel +353 1 JEWELLERY CHANEL Wear it all at once: lots of fine chains or rings are a good way to start with layering; see MoMuses elegant wafer-thin bracelets and slim rings, and Pandoras wishbone rings, in various metals (from 28, below). With necklaces, its all about playing with textures and lengths. Creati JEWELLERY . GIFTWARE . DINING . CHRISTMAS Shop in-store or online now at www.newbridgesilverware.com Dark Romance DOLCE & GABBANA TREND GIORGIO ARMANI The FF flexible floral will see you through this season says PENNY McCORMICK 1 Velvet floral coat, Dries Van Noten, 1,900 at Brown Thomas 2 1. Rose print polo-neck, 425, pleated skirt, 695, Daisy print polo-neck, 425, pleated skirt, 695; al The Ultimate Gift Fabergé-style porcelain candle with 18-carat gold and Swarovski crystal €75 Exclusive to Louise Kennedy in Ireland Available to view and pre-order at www. louisekennedy.com Contact us on 01 662 0056; info@louisekennedy.com We provide a Click & Collect service from our flagship sto FASHION THIS PAGE Gabby wears: Multi-print Rio Verde silk twill swing dress, LA DOUBLE J. Khaki Eva Arizona Essentials sandals, BIRKENSTOCK. Pink cashmere socks, MONAGHANS CASHMERE. David wears: Navy floral shirt, THE KOOPLES. Grey ribbed cotton crew-neck T-shirt, RALPH LAUREN. Navy side-stripe jog THE AWAKENING Who are these little humans? LOCKDOWN 2020: DAY 142 ORGANISED Here we go again ... This time around, your lockdown wardrobe could be bright, fun, and a little bit nutty. Dress up, go wild! Theres not much else to do ... Photographed by OLIVIA GRAHAM Styled by CAROLYN BODNER FASHION THE SPACE INVADERS This is not happening, this is not happening ... LOCKDOWN 2020: DAY 212 Gabby wears: Beige and black check full-skirt wool dress, ROCHAS. Pink multi-coloured print wool sweater, DRIES VAN NOTEN. Multi-coloured print scarf, ZARA. Khaki studded suede sandals, ISABEL MARAN THIS PAGE Gabby wears: Rust Lovers Rock pleated skirt, WALES BONNE. Blue and cream stripe sweater, Wales Bonner. David wears: Blue check wool trousers, THOM BROWN. Navy print T-shirt, DRIES VAN NOTEN. Navy cardigan with red stripe trim, KENZO. THE WORK/HOME BALANCE Whoa, whoa. It cant be my turn a FASHION THE ARTISTIC DIFFERENCES Blue and pink, blue and pink. Why is it always blue and pink? LOCKDOWN 2020: DAY 235 ABOVE: Gabby wears: Yellow cotton hoodie; floral cotton jumpsuit; both MOTHER. David wears: Stripe wool sweater, MARNI. Pink stripe button-down shirt, BARENA. Blue tartan wool tro THE EPIPHANY So this is where the Laundry Fairies live? LOCKDOWN 2020: DAY 242 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE November 2020 25 FASHION Gabby wears: Pink wool sweater with hearts, RIXO. Brown camo-print trousers, ALC. Black leather boots with painted floral motif, FRYE. David wears: Orange cotton hoodie, YEZZY. Green and navy print trousers,VERSACE. Khaki camo-print sneakers, VALENTINO. 26 November 2020 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE THE OLD NORMAL Ahhh, pizza. LOCKDOWN 2020: EVENING 248 Gabby wears: Multi-coloured ribbed knit skirt, ISSEY MIYAKE. Black and white stripe knit sweater, ANTHONY THOMAS MELILLO. David wears: Blue check brushedcotton robe, GUCCI. Navy check cotton pyjamas, SUPERDRY. Red cotton-mix socks, FALKE. Make RELATIONSHIPS OLIVIA GRAHAM T All Cooped Lockdown and working from home can put stress on relationships, but the new normal could provide opportunities for positive changes, according to TIM DOWLING 28 November 2020 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE UP he coronavirus crisis has presented couples with an un VENEZUELA MULLINGAR, SKERRIES AND ARDEE Stockists of Annette Gortz Transit Tandem Clemente Eva Kayan Ania Schierholt Marco Moreo Andia Fora Patrizia Bonfanti Browse collections on Instagram and Facebook @venezeula_boutique Call any of our boutiques with your queries, or for styling advice Purchase RELATIONSHIPS Speak in turn, if necessary using a talking stick (a technique whereby only the person holding the stick may speak). When youre holding the stick and you can only use the word I, you would be amazed how much less you have to say, and how much more productive the conversation is, says M BEAUTY ADVERTORIAL 20 YEARS OF CRE ATIVE F REEDO M Éditions de Parfums Frédéric Malle celebrates 20 years with a new book and seven limited-edition collectors bottles of the most iconic perfumes ... he Éditions de Parfums Frédéric Malle are a world apart. And if youve ever smelt Portrait of a L STRAP WWW.LANSDOWNEPLACE.IE SOCIAL LIFE When will Amy Huberman swap slippers for heels again? Watch Finding Joy on Amazon Prime Video. Not A Laughing Matter... Of course its not. But as we try to maintain some semblance of a social life, a sense of humour has never been more important, as Amy Huberman points out. Otherwise y ADVERTORIAL Stirring The Pudding MAKING A WISH At Avoca, Christmas is all about the food. From baking with your little ones to ordering your festive fare, no feast is complete without all the trimmings. The Christmas Day SWIM We are finding daily pleasures in life that keep us af loat. The tradi SOCIAL LIFE S ome time ago, during the extreme bit of lockdown, I went online and made quite a frivolous purchase. I bought myself a thing called a Weighted Blanket. I wasnt sure afterwards if I had done the right thing. Maybe I was the unwitting victim of a clever internet marketing campaign? Or ESSAY THE REMEMBERING ROPE POLLY DEVLINs remembrance of people and times past is triggered by her collection of treasured antiques and the backstories of their acquisition 38 November 2020 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE For new readers and seasoned ones ... This is the fifth episode in the loose concoctio GOODBYE SCALES. HELLO NIKOLATESLA LIBRA. WEIGH COOK EXTRACT NIKOLATESLA LIBRA. THE HOB WITH INTEGRATED EXTRACTION AND WEIGHING SCALES. NikolaTesla Libra is the innovative hob with integrated extraction able to weigh your ingredients directly in the pot, at any temperature level. A visionary prod ESSAY On the very day I brought the model home into the hall of the real thing, my husband told me he wanted to SELL THE HOUSE. house with its patchwork walls and mullioned windows with stone lintels like huge eyebrows over every one, its stone slate roofs and all-round crazy Elizabethan Jacobean a &%%* .* 4 %*##%* ) % . () (! .* %**(# *$ /% % *$ () 1 () (! #*$* %&#&) 1 32 5 YEAR WARRANTY ON PARTS & LABOUR 4 +*&$*##/ **) * #+%(/ . * % 0 &(% *& ( */' 0 )#*) * )* .) % /#1 *) %*+*- * %&#&/ * * +(%*) * )* '(&($% ) .## ) *$, %(/ % .*( &'*$)*&%1 % &+* $&( * HOME LAYERING ... WEARING ... At last its cold enough to wear layers of warm woollens and chunky jumpers. The Khaite Katie Holmes cardi is only attainable for, well, Katie Holmes, but we definitely aspire to a Ros Duke gossamer-light cashmere cardigan, or Pearl Reddingtons slow sustainable cardiga DESIGN INTERIORS BESPOKE FURNITURE Creators of luxury homes Head Office/ Ballycoolin Showroom Units 12/13, Block 8 Blanchardstown Corporate Park Ballycoolin, Dublin 15 01 820 8480 +353 1 820 8480 Deansgrange Showroom Unit F, Deansgrange Business Park Kill Lane Blackrock, Co. Dublin 01 207 0702 HOME PLANTING ... Drinking ... Hot Chocolate. Tulips. I love this time of the year for dreaming up new colour schemes for the garden, says landscape designer Leonie Cornelius. I love containers exploding with jewel-coloured tulips and small windowsill pots filled with bluebells and Iris. Im layerin WARDROBE JIL SANDER ABOUT TIME CARTIER Three classics get an update I wear my silver pieces every day. They go with everything and are easy to mix with other jewellery. Silver Streak ITS AN UGGS GAME Its official: Uggs are back! Collaborations with London Fashion Weeks favourite designer Molly Ania Schierholt Annette Gortz Fabiana Filippi Hugo Boss HIGH Herno Maxmara Leisure Peserico Max et Moi Paule Ka Mos Mosh Transit Eva Kayan Herzens Angelegenheit Oakwood Gustav Hale Bob iBlues Luisa Cerano 2 Mount Prospect House, Clontarf Road, Clontarf, Co Dublin, D03 HH76 www.ellenb #MINDOURSELVES Its time to talk about menopause in the workplace, says EMILY HOURICAN, who spoke to women about the impact of their symptoms on their working life HOT TOPIC, LARGELY I IGNORED magine the scenario, says Loretta Dignam: Im a 50-year-old senior corporate professional making a pres #MINDOURSELVES women in menopause complain of in relation to their working lives, Dr Deirdre Forde, medical director of Ceile Medical and member of the British Menopause Society, says without a doubt its anxiety. Women feel that perhaps they are not able to work anymore. They feel overwhelmed and in BEAUTY GLOSSARY Winter BEAUTY Simple is best for your skin at night, finds Sarah Halliwell Soft taupe and beige shades for lips: Lancôme LAbsolu Rouge Intimatte, 32, from November 25 at counters nationwide. A light veil of gold for the nails: Chanel Le Vernis Chaine dOr, 25, limited edition, from SUPP ORT ADVERTORIAL YOUR SKIN I n our midlife, were more at ease in our own skin, and our life experiences show on our faces. And we want our skincare to support our skin, so that it feels as supple and resilient as it possibly can. Its been a challenging year, and stress has an impact on our s BEAUTY My goal at the beginning, more than anything, was to prove that great perfumery could be MODERN. It was always this idea of creating something new. t r o f m Co & JOY What makes Frédéric Malle perfumes special? In an exclusive interview, the perfume publisher talks scent, seduction and bê ADVERTORIAL Just as we change our skincare to suit CHANGING SKIN NEEDS, we should be doing the same for our hair. Pantene Hair Biology is a science-led regime that works like skincare for your scalp. Cleanse & Reconstruct THE ISSUES: Your hair is healthy but gets damaged and dry due to heat styling BOOKS THREE INSPIRING NEW TITLES A Little Happier, Notes for Reassurance, Derren Brown, Bantam Press, £8.99. No Time Like The Future, An Optimist Considers Mortality, Michael J Fox, £16, published by Headline on November 17. Be More Snoopy, Find Your Happy Dance, Nat Gertler, Dorling Kindersley, £6 SISTER ACT Author JESSICA FELLOWES explains her obsession with the six socialites who inspired her new novel S ix aristocratic sisters, each of whom come of age between the wars and grows up to become: a novelist; a dairy farmer; a fascist; a Nazi; a Communist; a duchess. Therein lies the root of ADVERTORIAL FOOD TO ORDER Social Insecurities The daily anxieties of modern life Hosting friends and family at home? Make it a gourmet affair with help from The Butlers Pantry. From chef-made dishes to seasonal hampers and festive food gifts, we deliver straight to your door JACKY SHERIDAN THE TR ISH DES EI FOO NO POMP ... E D Y N B FOOD JUST CIRCUMSTANCES This may be the oddest Christmas ever, but for once, we have time to enjoy the preparations. TRISH DESEINE is pleased at the prospect W ith our crazy world hurtling towards 2021, I thank the Lord and good St Nick that Christ IN Y M A RY EB D O W W WINE EY RICH PICKINGS MARY DOWEY on trends, tips and three top wines to try at home E arly last year I wrote about the JURA in north-east France which has moved from obscurity to diva dazzle in less than a decade. Is it about to be overshadowed by another region close A WONDERFUL WINTER AT BUTLERS N AVIGLI, MIL A N THIS WONDERFUL LITTLE PLACE Handbag designer Julie Peelo always returns to this special neighbourhood in Milan A fter graduating in fashion textiles from NCAD and working for a time for John Rocha, I moved to Italy in 2003 to get a job at a fashio THIS GLOSSY LIFE The White Companys amazing faux trees start at 259 for a six-foot tree; a pre-lit six-footer is 359. This Christmas, the wicker tree skirt is all the rage; the White Company tree skirt is 59. WR EATHS & DECOR ATION S Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like... If its going to be a quiet THIS GLOSSY LIFE Inspo: The Dalloway Terrace at the Bloomsbury, a Doyle Hotel in London. WR ITIN G CA R DS One positive of the pandemic is the likelihood there will be fewer smug round-robin Christmas letters to digest this year. Weve all been in the same boat (and outfit) for most of the year. Not THIS GLOSSY LIFE TUR KEY R OASTI N G ON A N OPEN . . . B A R B ECU E Lots of us are going to be roasting the bird on the Weber kettle, Big Green Egg or barrel smoker this year, for a bit of fun. Get your timings right by practising on a few Sunday roasts in the run-up to Christmas. The most importa THIS GLOSSY LIFE T H E M I C R O C H R I ST MAS Table for two? With only yourselves to please, this could be the nicest Christmas ever ... A long lie-in, your choice of movie, a bottle of bubbly ... Order the Ultimate Christmas Dinner for Two at The Butlers Pantry (79) before December 13, and enjoy INTERIORS INTERIORS NATURAL ROMANCE My World at HOME the details ABOVE Jungle Surprise, Expect the Unexpected by Sophie Shrestha. She is inspired by time in Nepal and the Irish countryside, and explores the role nature plays in our wellbeing. Follow her @sophie_shrestha. 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